It has nothing to do with standards.
I don't believe you lack a sense of what people should be and do to qualify as worthy people of your respect and attention. And yet, I wish you'd be more selective, more critical of those who get close to you. More critical of yourself when you decide to respect someone. It's not that you don't think you deserve better, it's simply that you are swayed by emotion, by what things seem to be from the outside. Preconceived ideas, originated by external forces, but fueled by your imagination, are influential in your calculations and decisions.
I wish they weren't.
I wish you would question every single thing that goes through your head, every single emotion that courses through your veins. Not out of self doubt, but rather out of self respect and a sense of safety. But I know it's not an easy thing to achieve – that distancing from emotion and logic, when you've been told your whole life that you overthink everything too much and that doing so is not only unnatural but also unhealthy.
But that's the thing: it isn't.
There is no such thing as thinking of something too much, especially when it's something as important and crucial to life as trusting and loving someone; at least not when it comes to the decision to start trusting and loving someone. I understand that decisions must be made, fears and doubts must be overcome and that overthinking them can be a cause for unnecessary stress; it can be a deterrent of action and necessary risks. But when it comes to primary and fundamental things, upon which life will be based on, overthinking is key. It's necessary that our brains go around and around the subject, again and again and again. Because every time you think about it critically, you will think something differently, and that can lead to uncovering ideas and thoughts that aren't obvious, but that are highly important when it comes to making a decision. This is why time is essential. Time to mull over, to consider all possibilities, to retrace all steps. When it comes to deciding who you are going to love, who you are going to devote yourself to for possibly the rest of your life, overthink, overanalyze and make sure no detail escapes you.
Because I know you, and you won't give yourself another chance.
