submission #12

Sometimes I take it back
Sometimes I don't
But those times I just wish it didn't weigh as much
Those times I wish what happened didn't matter, that it could be forgotten.


Sometimes I miss you
Sometimes I consider forgiving everything you did wrong
Most times I remember how different forgiving is from forgetting
That's why it's only some times that I think about the good times
It's only sometimes that I imagine being the type of person that doesn't care.

And yet, sometimes those 'sometimes' seem like more times than other times
In those times I find myself wondering if it's worth it --
the not forgiving
the caring
the weight
And these times, triggered spontaneously, I hate
So most times, at the end of those times, I remember --
I remember who I am
I remember who you were
I remember that the only person who can hurt me more than you is me by thinking that 'sometimes' is enough

And I thank god it's only sometimes that I think like this